“AMERICAN SLUMLORD”

Obviously, this would be a reality TV show in which 10 slumlords would compete for the title of AMERICA’S TOP SLUMLORD. Here are some challenges that slumlords could compete in to determine who “gets the rent” that week (”There are ten of you, but In this old grocery bag I have only 9 envelopes full of soggy cash):

1. Do shoddy repairs at the lowest cost and with the least effort (fix this broken coin-op washing machine using only sandpaper, rubberbands, dried up wood glue, and a bic lighter!)
2. ‘Obtain’ rent out of crack addicts, prostitutes, and ‘writers’
3. Sniff out corpses behind closed doors

I don’t want to give away the whole pitch here, but I think you get the gist. Bids may be submitted in the comments.

P.S. All Hail Our Robotic Overlords

Think about it. I mean, really take a few moments to consider that you are probably trying to quantify those moments into a standardized unit of measurement, and how crazy that really is. How long does a moment really last? A few seconds? A minute? A few hours? A fraction of a second? It really depends on the context of that moment, doesn’t it?

An hour at work could seem like a lifetime when compared to spending an hour doing something you love. While an hour you spend reading as an adult probably passes infinitely faster than an hour you may have spent reading as a child.

It seems funny to me that perhaps the only people that have really started to get it right are people like Einstein and quantum theorists who have realized that time, among other things, is really relative to the observer.

Now the question that really remains is how do we reverse the quirks of time? Not its flow, but its tendency to make us gloss over the moments we would most like to be allowed to enjoy, and extend those that we would rather skip all together.

The reality of the matter is most likely that we can’t, but if it is possible the power to do so resides solely in our minds and will.

“I would like a brekurrito with bacon, please hold the beans though; beans are not breakfast.”

I should do this more often that and combat blog spam… I just deleted like 30 spams!

“Accept it.” That’s what the great master, Lao Tzu, would say. Or would he? Perhaps acceptance is too active, too involving for the true sage. To really overcome the gears perhaps one must become the gears, become that very driving force, embody it, allow it to act through you.

Become the machine.

To thank Vince for this enlightening tidbit, I decided to move his car for him. I found it on the street, a hulking SUV from the late 90’s, the make and model escape me, but as I put the vehicle into reverse I realized the true meaning of his wise words. The gears of on his car don’t work properly.

Lately I’ve been working on a lot of photography type stuff for the Union, I’ve shot the last 3 covers and took a bunch of photos for our “Best of Long Beach” issue. I’m really starting to like the idea of editorial photography, or photography as illustration and I’m going to persue it as much as I can while I’m at the Union and hopefully beyond that

Here’s some more of my favorites from my work for the Union:


And as always: